Why did you not see yourself in a relationship? It sounds like you two had all these feelings and simply needed to talk it out. You could have been together this whole time in your own world if you had realized sooner that you both felt that same way. What you really need to work on is communicating your wants and needs to one another as plainly as you can manage and not being dragged down by any self-hatred.

And he helped me at the school earlier as well. You can say that is when I knew that he was always who your heart was set on.