[ kaveh’s quick to step back and sprout his own wings, so he can use them as a buffer to avoid being taken in a hug. ] What I actually am and what you think I am are two completely different things.
…that doesn’t sound all that amazing. I get along with the majority of people. [ an attempt was made, sunday. ]
Part time date… stop thinking about this like a math equation. It’s not parts and wholes. It’s I’m in love with you too and I don’t want to lose the beautiful relationship we started.
[ His eyes grow soggy as he crumples to the ground. ]
Neither do I. I still love you, too. Call me selfish, but I was so happy thinking you wanted to spend more time with me when you talked about our own place.
That joy then felt premature and short-lived, and I was scared since I was already rejected once before. I had gotten over it, but having it happen twice in succession felt hard to bear and that perhaps the problem lay within me.
And I love you too. [ as soon as sunday crumples to the ground kavehh rushes over and drops to his knees, throwing his arms around sunday to drag him straight into a tight ( and loving ) embrace. ] It's okay to be selfish. And I want to spend time with you, all my time, but... I'm the selfish one. I want the both of you. And I still want to find, repair, and decorate a house... one of our very own...
[ he folds his wings around sunday and continues to hold him closely. he's not letting go. ] It's not you. Sunday... you're an amazing person and I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend. I love you so much and I'm lucky that the both of you are so understanding because I really don't think I could live without either of you. No, I know I can't. And that's why I've been such a mess lately.
I am fortunate to have you too in return. I do not want to lose you.
[ He squeezes Kaveh tight as his wings brush against Kaveh's. ]
Please tell me what I must do to keep you. Go on a three-person dates? Invite him into the bedroom? He is handsome, but I simply do not know him well enough yet to feel anything beyond physical attraction. It was difficult enough to share any of my desires with you while being afraid of being mocked, but I can at least be present and assist?
…you have me, Sunday. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to go anywhere and I’m hoping that you’re not going to go anywhere either. I want you right here. [ he tightens his grip on him, scared that, if he lets go, that he’ll lose him for good… ] If you’re not comfortable with either of those things, then no. We can take it slow. I want you two to get to know each other, first as friends, and if things evolve from there… then great. If not, then that’s fine too. We can still have time to ourselves. Time for only me and you.
And I hope you know I’ll never mock you. Your desires are my desires. [ he gives him a kiss on the forehead. ] And making you happy makes me happy.
I cannot control if I leave this world or not, but while I am here, I am always available to you.
And I can try at least and see how it goes with a three-person date. It would be difficult to visit otherwise and be intimate, and I do not want to make my sister leave the apartment on our behalf. I could also try watching you both? I know Dr. Ratio and Aventurine had invited me to do the same for education, but I do not think they were serious.
At least, I would learn what you both enjoy and other acts beyond my own strange desires, which I would prefer to never tell anyone else again about.
...and I can't control when I leave this world, but [ he hesitantly stirs the dendro mark on sunday's belly. ] I'll always be with you. Maybe... we can find something that you can give to me, so that, even when we do temporarily part ways, it'll be like you're still with me. [ he scoots that much closer. ] I'll find a way to find you. I don't know how, but... I will.
And you can always come over. We don't share a room and I already said I don't mind keeping things separate... at least until you're comfortable. We can start with a date. A normal date; dinner & a movie.
I don't think your desires are strange. I mean, if they are, then my own are equally strange. [ he cups sunday's cheeks. ] We seem to share a number of the same kinks...
[ The warmth spreads through the point of contact, making him flush slightly. ]
If we had sterile instruments, I could give you an earring to match mine, though I would have to ask for one that is high quality rather than risk putting dirty metals in your ear.
And you are rather loud. I do not think even your room walls would block much from escaping. I would feel too uneasy about performing those kinks where they could be heard.
I'll ask for the tools and the earring for my next burden. Together we'll draw up something special, unique, and one-of-a-kind. We can even get a pair if you'd like another. But I want something. [ he's about to lift his hands up for a kiss when sunday calls him loud and he just turns red instead. ] I... I'm not loud. I, you, it... it's not just me! You too! [ inflates his cheeks with a huff. ] Mehrak got the gag and we could go to the sex shop and... invest in some things to... help. We also both have tentacle like appendages we can use... [ use yours more sunday! ]
I would not mind an extra one, though it would have to be small so it does not weigh down my wings too much. And you are far louder. I am not sure the gag would be enough.
Even if we were completely quiet, I would still feel strange with someone a few feet away. What if there is an emergency, and he walks in while one of us is bound?
[ The embarrassment would kill him. ]
I also would feel strange about spending the evening since he would know even if we are quiet.
...well, you have something of mine already so let's focus on something of yours for me first, and then if you'd really like another piercing we'll already have the tools to take care of it. [ he didn't think about how it might affect his wings, so now he's a little hesitant. ] I, no, th- that... I am not, and I can be quiet, I just... you seem to like it when I, I'm loud. Admit it. [ bristles, trying to look annoyed but only managing to look embarrassed. ] A gag would be more than enough!
... [ that would be hot af. ] We could look into that house. I did originally think it would be a good place to [ he brings a hand to his mouth, clearing his throat. ] fuck, since we wouldn't have to worry about sisters, roommates, and neighbors...
[ he keeps a firm hold on sunday's hands. ] Of course he's going to know. Even if we're not at the house I'm sure he'll piece together what's going on elsewhere. Alhaitham's really smart. [ and it's not like it'd take a genius to figure this out. ] But I at least want the three of us to spend time together. N- Normal time. To get to know each other. I can even make dinner again. [ he'll make whatever you want, sunday. ] Just... don't go.
I do but not when there are others listening in. Some things I would like to keep for myself only rather than share them with the world. Think of it like your spores...would you like another man filling me with them after marking me?
And I imagine you would still wish to live full-time with Alhaitham, so a house would not necessarily solve much just like I do not want to leave my sister unless she has a roommate, so I do not have to worry all the time.
We can shelve the thought for the future and start with dinner for all of us. I can make some dessert so I do not come by empty-handed. Would you like me to bring wine as well?
…no. I selfishly don’t want anybody stuffing that hole of yours with anything like that, but I… I know that’s taking things a bit too far given… everything.
I was living along before, and this is the same living situation we had back in Teyvat… and until your sister found herself a roommate we wouldn’t be sharing a roof either, so…
M- Maybe it could be something to strive for. I wouldn’t mind it if we all stayed together, after, a- and if, you get along. I… [ probably shouldn’t be overly hopeful & excited. his luck is abysmal, but it’s hard not to be optimistic. ]
I’ll leave dessert to you then. And wine sounds great. Two bottles. [ because he’s going to need one for himself. ] I imagine it might be a little awkward to ask you to come back to my room just to… cuddle, so if you were amendable, then… maybe your room?
[ His wings spread and shift to cover his cheeks. ]
What if I only ever wanted your plant spores and eggs and no one else's? That could be for you and you alone.
And I will do my best to get along with your friend. We both love you, so we already have something in common...and if he really is a lot like Dr. Ratio, we will probably at least be intellectually compatible with one another. I cannot say how that would translate sexually since I have not been with anyone but you.
[ Maybe it'd be less weird if he were more experienced himself, but he's sure he can find some books on this in the sex shop to get him up to speed. ]
And you can come over and help me fix breakfast for my sister. She brought me sundaes last night from Penacony, so I would like to spoil her in return when she wakes up.
I… yeah, I don’t know Dr. Ratio beyond [ his tits. ] seeing him, but Alhaitham is the Akademiya Scribe, and its Former Acting Grand Sage. He might be my junior, but he’s incredibly bright. But there’s no need to be thinking about that yet… sex, I mean.
I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I’m not relationship expert. This is new to me too. Well all figure this out together… a- and for what it’s worth, I may have fantasized about a lot of [ clears his throat. ] kinky stuff, but you were my first too. [ he gives a gentle tug on one of sunday’s wings. ]
Do you have what you need in your fridge, or do we need to make a quick run to the store… it’s early enough that we could go and come back before she’s up. [ probably. ]
[ Wait, wait, what. He pulls back a bit and grabs Kaveh by the arms in disbelief. ]
How did you not–? You are quite a bit older than I, aren't you? And you had all these toys? And you are obsessed with the big ones? You are also very beautiful?? Why didn't you tell me?
We should have waited, but I didn't bother since I thought you already had multiple partners before. I did not think one more would matter.
How did I not wh- hey! I’m not that old… [ says the guy that enjoys being called senior by his juniors. you can’t have it both ways, kaveh. ]
Just because I’m older doesn’t mean I have mor-… everybody has toys! And I’m allowed to… play with myself in my free time. [ he’s dying… again. ] My hand doesn’t alwa- [ he chokes on the remainder of the word, sputtering for a good couple of seconds. ] So!
I… have an appreciate for a particular type of body. I’m an architect, an artist, and I enjoy a good… structure… [ he can feel his face heating up. ] And everybody has their thing. I… I happen to like big tits. And chests in general. [ he motions at sunday’s chest. ] Yours too. I like your chest too, Sunday. [ now’s not exactly the time, but… he grabs sunday’s tits and squeezes. ] they’ve come a long way and they’ve always been perky and cute.
I didn’t think it mattered… especially if we were both okay with it. And… I’m not sure if I should be offended or not. [ i’m no ho, sunday! ] But like I… touched on before, beauty & brains only get you so far. [ with most people. ] My fame is a farce, and only a few people in Sumeru know as much. Financial security is… important, as is being able to provide. I can’t claim to do either of those things… [ so who the hell would want to date him, when all he’s no more than a pretty face. ]
[ Hard to finish a sentence when his chest is being squeezed. He gasps as his nipples harden and still Kaveh's hand before he gets too worked up. ]
...I apologize, I simply thought someone with your intellect and beauty would have had plenty of suitors to choose from. You do not need much more than that, in spite of what you think. Acclaim and money are only important to the materialistic, and there are plenty of people out there who would look past that.
If I had known, I would have insisted we wait a long time to get to know one another first, so I also apologize for not asking. What made you rush with me? Solely because I asked for help?
It's not like I haven't been approached time & time again, but I was just not interested, ...and beside that my situation makes things hard. [ ... ] A lot of people are materialistic, even if they don't realize it.
[ he hangs his head a little. ] Nobody knows what the Palace of Alcazarzaray cost me. Everybody believes I made a fortune and lead a life of luxury, when, in reality, ...I'll be paying Lord Sangemah Bay back until the day I die. All I really gained was the moniker Light of Kshahrewar and an exorbitant amount of fame, but fame doesn't put a roof over my head and food on my table.
It's not like we hadn't gotten to know each other, ... [ his cheeks color pink again. ] I didn't think it was that rushed... but I don't know. Maybe because I actually liked you? And I... wanted to do those kinds of things with you. [ if not for worrying about ruining things with alhaitham ( if he didn't share the same feelings ) kaveh would have probably jumped on him ages ago too. ] I... probably could have exercised more restraint though. Sorry.
There is nothing to apologize for. I do not regret that it was with you. However, I admit, I did not think you were interested in me romantically back then, and I was still getting over someone else and dealing with the fall-out and my imprisonment by the Family. I did not really value myself nor my own purity any longer. I should have at least told you I was not feeling good about myself at the time...
And having no money and a roommate will never bother me as much as you seem to think it does. You do not deserve anyone who cannot look past any of that anyway. You spent so much worrying and feeling ashamed while Alhaitham pined for you under your nose for years and you for him.
I hope that you feel a little bit better about yourself now, because [ he cups his cheeks and leans in, so that they're forehead to forehead. ] I think you're amazing. And I know it's hard to get over a crush, let along your first, but... if you ever want to talk about it... I'm here.
...our relationship is complicated. And like I said, I didn't want to jeopardize the friendship we were slowly rebuilding. If I said something and, archon forbid, he didn't feel similarly, then cue the awkward... and that would be the least of it. [ he could potentially have thrown him out. ]
And worrying - hah - it's what I do. It's why I drink. [ ... ] I never did tell you about my father and... what happened to him. When I was a kid I urged him to enter a competition held in Sumeru called the Interdarshan Championship. He was favored to win and I was so excited, but he... didn't. He changed after that, falling into a deep depression... and when he he ventured into the desert to perform some research he was swallowed by some quicksand, ...
My mother was heartbroken, and... understandably so. She did what she could for me, but you could tell there was a disconnect. I know she loved me, but the house, it hurt, and me... I reminded her of him. She stayed until I became of age, and then she took a few things and left for Fontaine, leaving me the house. It only hurt to stay... and to be reminded of him.
It was my fault. If I hadn't... [ he swallows thickly. ] I shouldn't have said anything...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
…that doesn’t sound all that amazing. I get along with the majority of people. [ an attempt was made, sunday. ]
Part time date… stop thinking about this like a math equation. It’s not parts and wholes. It’s I’m in love with you too and I don’t want to lose the beautiful relationship we started.
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
Neither do I. I still love you, too. Call me selfish, but I was so happy thinking you wanted to spend more time with me when you talked about our own place.
That joy then felt premature and short-lived, and I was scared since I was already rejected once before. I had gotten over it, but having it happen twice in succession felt hard to bear and that perhaps the problem lay within me.
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
[ he folds his wings around sunday and continues to hold him closely. he's not letting go. ] It's not you. Sunday... you're an amazing person and I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend. I love you so much and I'm lucky that the both of you are so understanding because I really don't think I could live without either of you. No, I know I can't. And that's why I've been such a mess lately.
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[ He squeezes Kaveh tight as his wings brush against Kaveh's. ]
Please tell me what I must do to keep you. Go on a three-person dates? Invite him into the bedroom? He is handsome, but I simply do not know him well enough yet to feel anything beyond physical attraction. It was difficult enough to share any of my desires with you while being afraid of being mocked, but I can at least be present and assist?
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And I hope you know I’ll never mock you. Your desires are my desires. [ he gives him a kiss on the forehead. ] And making you happy makes me happy.
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
And I can try at least and see how it goes with a three-person date. It would be difficult to visit otherwise and be intimate, and I do not want to make my sister leave the apartment on our behalf. I could also try watching you both? I know Dr. Ratio and Aventurine had invited me to do the same for education, but I do not think they were serious.
At least, I would learn what you both enjoy and other acts beyond my own strange desires, which I would prefer to never tell anyone else again about.
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And you can always come over. We don't share a room and I already said I don't mind keeping things separate... at least until you're comfortable. We can start with a date. A normal date; dinner & a movie.
I don't think your desires are strange. I mean, if they are, then my own are equally strange. [ he cups sunday's cheeks. ] We seem to share a number of the same kinks...
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If we had sterile instruments, I could give you an earring to match mine, though I would have to ask for one that is high quality rather than risk putting dirty metals in your ear.
And you are rather loud. I do not think even your room walls would block much from escaping. I would feel too uneasy about performing those kinks where they could be heard.
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Even if we were completely quiet, I would still feel strange with someone a few feet away. What if there is an emergency, and he walks in while one of us is bound?
[ The embarrassment would kill him. ]
I also would feel strange about spending the evening since he would know even if we are quiet.
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... [ that would be hot af. ] We could look into that house. I did originally think it would be a good place to [ he brings a hand to his mouth, clearing his throat. ] fuck, since we wouldn't have to worry about sisters, roommates, and neighbors...
[ he keeps a firm hold on sunday's hands. ] Of course he's going to know. Even if we're not at the house I'm sure he'll piece together what's going on elsewhere. Alhaitham's really smart. [ and it's not like it'd take a genius to figure this out. ] But I at least want the three of us to spend time together. N- Normal time. To get to know each other. I can even make dinner again. [ he'll make whatever you want, sunday. ] Just... don't go.
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And I imagine you would still wish to live full-time with Alhaitham, so a house would not necessarily solve much just like I do not want to leave my sister unless she has a roommate, so I do not have to worry all the time.
We can shelve the thought for the future and start with dinner for all of us. I can make some dessert so I do not come by empty-handed. Would you like me to bring wine as well?
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M- Maybe it could be something to strive for. I wouldn’t mind it if we all stayed together, after, a- and if, you get along. I… [ probably shouldn’t be overly hopeful & excited. his luck is abysmal, but it’s hard not to be optimistic. ]
I’ll leave dessert to you then. And wine sounds great. Two bottles. [ because he’s going to need one for himself. ] I imagine it might be a little awkward to ask you to come back to my room just to… cuddle, so if you were amendable, then… maybe your room?
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
What if I only ever wanted your plant spores and eggs and no one else's? That could be for you and you alone.
And I will do my best to get along with your friend. We both love you, so we already have something in common...and if he really is a lot like Dr. Ratio, we will probably at least be intellectually compatible with one another. I cannot say how that would translate sexually since I have not been with anyone but you.
[ Maybe it'd be less weird if he were more experienced himself, but he's sure he can find some books on this in the sex shop to get him up to speed. ]
And you can come over and help me fix breakfast for my sister. She brought me sundaes last night from Penacony, so I would like to spoil her in return when she wakes up.
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I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I’m not relationship expert. This is new to me too. Well all figure this out together… a- and for what it’s worth, I may have fantasized about a lot of [ clears his throat. ] kinky stuff, but you were my first too. [ he gives a gentle tug on one of sunday’s wings. ]
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How did you not–? You are quite a bit older than I, aren't you? And you had all these toys? And you are obsessed with the big ones? You are also very beautiful?? Why didn't you tell me?
We should have waited, but I didn't bother since I thought you already had multiple partners before. I did not think one more would matter.
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
Just because I’m older doesn’t mean I have mor-… everybody has toys! And I’m allowed to… play with myself in my free time. [ he’s dying… again. ] My hand doesn’t alwa- [ he chokes on the remainder of the word, sputtering for a good couple of seconds. ] So!
I… have an appreciate for a particular type of body. I’m an architect, an artist, and I enjoy a good… structure… [ he can feel his face heating up. ] And everybody has their thing. I… I happen to like big tits. And chests in general. [ he motions at sunday’s chest. ] Yours too. I like your chest too, Sunday. [ now’s not exactly the time, but… he grabs sunday’s tits and squeezes. ] they’ve come a long way and they’ve always been perky and cute.
I didn’t think it mattered… especially if we were both okay with it. And… I’m not sure if I should be offended or not. [ i’m no ho, sunday! ] But like I… touched on before, beauty & brains only get you so far. [ with most people. ] My fame is a farce, and only a few people in Sumeru know as much. Financial security is… important, as is being able to provide. I can’t claim to do either of those things… [ so who the hell would want to date him, when all he’s no more than a pretty face. ]
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[ Hard to finish a sentence when his chest is being squeezed. He gasps as his nipples harden and still Kaveh's hand before he gets too worked up. ]
...I apologize, I simply thought someone with your intellect and beauty would have had plenty of suitors to choose from. You do not need much more than that, in spite of what you think. Acclaim and money are only important to the materialistic, and there are plenty of people out there who would look past that.
If I had known, I would have insisted we wait a long time to get to know one another first, so I also apologize for not asking. What made you rush with me? Solely because I asked for help?
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
[ he hangs his head a little. ] Nobody knows what the Palace of Alcazarzaray cost me. Everybody believes I made a fortune and lead a life of luxury, when, in reality, ...I'll be paying Lord Sangemah Bay back until the day I die. All I really gained was the moniker Light of Kshahrewar and an exorbitant amount of fame, but fame doesn't put a roof over my head and food on my table.
It's not like we hadn't gotten to know each other, ... [ his cheeks color pink again. ] I didn't think it was that rushed... but I don't know. Maybe because I actually liked you? And I... wanted to do those kinds of things with you. [ if not for worrying about ruining things with alhaitham ( if he didn't share the same feelings ) kaveh would have probably jumped on him ages ago too. ] I... probably could have exercised more restraint though. Sorry.
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
And having no money and a roommate will never bother me as much as you seem to think it does. You do not deserve anyone who cannot look past any of that anyway. You spent so much worrying and feeling ashamed while Alhaitham pined for you under your nose for years and you for him.
Re: day 67 late / 68 early
...our relationship is complicated. And like I said, I didn't want to jeopardize the friendship we were slowly rebuilding. If I said something and, archon forbid, he didn't feel similarly, then cue the awkward... and that would be the least of it. [ he could potentially have thrown him out. ]
And worrying - hah - it's what I do. It's why I drink. [ ... ] I never did tell you about my father and... what happened to him. When I was a kid I urged him to enter a competition held in Sumeru called the Interdarshan Championship. He was favored to win and I was so excited, but he... didn't. He changed after that, falling into a deep depression... and when he he ventured into the desert to perform some research he was swallowed by some quicksand, ...
My mother was heartbroken, and... understandably so. She did what she could for me, but you could tell there was a disconnect. I know she loved me, but the house, it hurt, and me... I reminded her of him. She stayed until I became of age, and then she took a few things and left for Fontaine, leaving me the house. It only hurt to stay... and to be reminded of him.
It was my fault. If I hadn't... [ he swallows thickly. ] I shouldn't have said anything...
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