MWM INBOX.

[regulate]

Comments

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

Sunday: Very well.
Sunday: I will be out there shortly.

[ Quickly changes out of his kigurumi so he can face Kaveh with dignity as he waits outside for him, unsure what to expect. ]

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

Architect; I'll see you soon.

[ kaveh joins him outside and has to refrain from immediately jumping him for another hug. ] I spoke to Alhaitham, so... I said I would let you know how it went. [ he takes a step closer, reaching for sunday's hands. ] It went well. [ he squeezes them. ]

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

[ He flinches at the touch but tries not to pull away. ]

Were you able to confess all your feelings and consummate your relationship at last?

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

We talked about our relationship. And how we never properly... expressed ourselves. It was freeing. But I also talked about you. And us. [ he takes a step closer, ] He said his feelings for me would never change and that he'd love me no matter what.

I don't want to abandon what we have, Sunday, because not only does it mean a whole lot to me, but I also really care about you too. If... you'll still have me and if you truly are alright with something as... strange? as this, then... I would like to still continue our relationship...

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

I am glad you finally got everything out in the open and that it worked out for the both of you, although...I am not sure how to proceed. There is a part of me that will miss having all your attention and time, but that is a selfish sentiment. And not one I deserve to entertain after all the things I have done.

[ His wings droop as he pulls his hands away so he can clasp them behind his own back. ]

I may need some time to adjust expectations and for my own feelings to simmer. We can take things slowly while you and Alhaitham also explore your feelings for one another.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

... [ a small nod. ] I, I understand. [ he has to refrain from having an immediate ( and likely undesirable ) knee-jerk reaction to sunday's hands slipping from his own, but he manages to do so. barely. his own hands fall uselessly to his sides and suddenly he's feeling more vulnerable than he anticipated, so he quickly shifts his stance and runs a hand through his hair. ] Don't say things like that. That's not true at all, Sunday. [ everybody is entitled to a little selfishness... and maybe he was too selfish and too optimistic about how this would work out. ]

Whatever you want. Need. I... just want you to be happy too. [ ... ] I'm not going to bulldoze ahead without you. I'll take this slowly too then. And wait for you to be ready... if ready is what you want to be.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

What did you envision in terms of schedules? I suppose we could meet on the weekends or every other weekend and go on outings and actually watch movies this time? Or whatever else you would like to do in that time.

1/2

[noarchitact]

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

I didn't envision a schedule. It's not like we spent every minute of every day in each other's company. If either of us wanted to get together to do whatever, then we would just... ask.

'Are you busy?'

'Do you want to watch a movie?'

'DTF?'

...there's no need for such a drastic change. A- And, and maybe I was hoping that I could introduce you and Alhaitham and that you'd get along too, and then the three of us could spend some time together. [ but that suddenly feels like more of a pipe dream. ]

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

DTF?...I apologize. I had never been with a single person before you. I am not sure how it works when you are dating someone who is dating someone else, and intro– oh, we already ran into one another earlier.

[ He glances down at the ground. ]

He does indeed remind me of Dr. Ratio in appearance and mannerisms. [ Same as Kaveh reminds him of Aventurine sometimes, so Sunday definitely has an oddly specific type. ] You are quite fortunate.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

[ no need to explain dtf right now. he can save that for later... if ever. ] I don't know either. I'm no relationship expert. And I... I'll be honest. [ he hesitates, feeling his chest tighten, because it's hard not to just fall back into bad habits. ] I never saw myself in a real relationship. [ kaveh shuts his eyes to focus on smothering all the reminders of his failures and fuck ups, ...how he's the reason time & time again for his own misery, which is evident af right now too. ]

Wh- [ his eyes snap open and he looks mortified. ] When?! [ he laughs nervously. ] What do you, uh, m- mean?

[ focus, you idiot, focus. ] B- But I, I can't claim to have all the answers. Most answers or really even... any. [ his shoulders sink inward as he sighs, letting his head hang in shame, because he's definitely not instilling confidence in either of them. ] I only know one thing for certain... and that's how I feel about you and Alhaitham. I'm sorry.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

Why did you not see yourself in a relationship? It sounds like you two had all these feelings and simply needed to talk it out. You could have been together this whole time in your own world if you had realized sooner that you both felt that same way. What you really need to work on is communicating your wants and needs to one another as plainly as you can manage and not being dragged down by any self-hatred.

And he helped me at the school earlier as well. You can say that is when I knew that he was always who your heart was set on.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

… [ kaveh takes a step back and sets a hand over his, laughing a bit deliriously… but only because he’s desperately trying to avoid break down. he really doesn’t want to start sobbing again. ] Because I’m a pathetic good for nothing loser!

Ha…! [ kaveh barks out a laugh. ] For the longest time there was no communication between us, because of a huge fight we had during our Akademiya days. [ he turns his head aside as he feels his hand grow hot and wet. so much for keeping it together. ] My feelings were the least of my concern, Sunday. I was just the sad sack of shit he found drunk in the bar because I fucked up… again.

And the more I think about it the more I wonder… why. [ what does he bring to the table? ]

[ kaveh shakes his head, his hand dropping from his face to his chest. he grabs a fist full of the material and twists it in hand. ] If that’s what you think then you don’t know what my heart wants.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

[ Sunday frowns before moving closer and pulling Kaveh into a hug as his wings grow out to cover him as much as possible, offering him some shelter from any curious eyes. ]

You are not. I never thought you were. I always thought of you as brilliant and kind and honest...Whatever mistakes you made in the past, they were never out of malice. You are not cruel in the slightest.

Alhaitham also would not have taken you in if he did not care and did not possess the capacity to overlook your faults. I wish you could see how amazing you are. Amazing enough for me to– [ fall in love with. ] ...get along with well.

I would have let you go already if I did not think you were special, but I am willing to try being a part-time date to keep some part of you even if I cannot have all of you anymore.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

[ kaveh’s quick to step back and sprout his own wings, so he can use them as a buffer to avoid being taken in a hug. ] What I actually am and what you think I am are two completely different things.

…that doesn’t sound all that amazing. I get along with the majority of people. [ an attempt was made, sunday. ]

Part time date… stop thinking about this like a math equation. It’s not parts and wholes. It’s I’m in love with you too and I don’t want to lose the beautiful relationship we started.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

[ His eyes grow soggy as he crumples to the ground. ]

Neither do I. I still love you, too. Call me selfish, but I was so happy thinking you wanted to spend more time with me when you talked about our own place.

That joy then felt premature and short-lived, and I was scared since I was already rejected once before. I had gotten over it, but having it happen twice in succession felt hard to bear and that perhaps the problem lay within me.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

And I love you too. [ as soon as sunday crumples to the ground kavehh rushes over and drops to his knees, throwing his arms around sunday to drag him straight into a tight ( and loving ) embrace. ] It's okay to be selfish. And I want to spend time with you, all my time, but... I'm the selfish one. I want the both of you. And I still want to find, repair, and decorate a house... one of our very own...

[ he folds his wings around sunday and continues to hold him closely. he's not letting go. ] It's not you. Sunday... you're an amazing person and I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend. I love you so much and I'm lucky that the both of you are so understanding because I really don't think I could live without either of you. No, I know I can't. And that's why I've been such a mess lately.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

I am fortunate to have you too in return. I do not want to lose you.

[ He squeezes Kaveh tight as his wings brush against Kaveh's. ]

Please tell me what I must do to keep you. Go on a three-person dates? Invite him into the bedroom? He is handsome, but I simply do not know him well enough yet to feel anything beyond physical attraction. It was difficult enough to share any of my desires with you while being afraid of being mocked, but I can at least be present and assist?

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

…you have me, Sunday. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to go anywhere and I’m hoping that you’re not going to go anywhere either. I want you right here. [ he tightens his grip on him, scared that, if he lets go, that he’ll lose him for good… ] If you’re not comfortable with either of those things, then no. We can take it slow. I want you two to get to know each other, first as friends, and if things evolve from there… then great. If not, then that’s fine too. We can still have time to ourselves. Time for only me and you.

And I hope you know I’ll never mock you. Your desires are my desires. [ he gives him a kiss on the forehead. ] And making you happy makes me happy.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

I cannot control if I leave this world or not, but while I am here, I am always available to you.

And I can try at least and see how it goes with a three-person date. It would be difficult to visit otherwise and be intimate, and I do not want to make my sister leave the apartment on our behalf. I could also try watching you both? I know Dr. Ratio and Aventurine had invited me to do the same for education, but I do not think they were serious.

At least, I would learn what you both enjoy and other acts beyond my own strange desires, which I would prefer to never tell anyone else again about.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

...and I can't control when I leave this world, but [ he hesitantly stirs the dendro mark on sunday's belly. ] I'll always be with you. Maybe... we can find something that you can give to me, so that, even when we do temporarily part ways, it'll be like you're still with me. [ he scoots that much closer. ] I'll find a way to find you. I don't know how, but... I will.

And you can always come over. We don't share a room and I already said I don't mind keeping things separate... at least until you're comfortable. We can start with a date. A normal date; dinner & a movie.

I don't think your desires are strange. I mean, if they are, then my own are equally strange. [ he cups sunday's cheeks. ] We seem to share a number of the same kinks...

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

[ The warmth spreads through the point of contact, making him flush slightly. ]

If we had sterile instruments, I could give you an earring to match mine, though I would have to ask for one that is high quality rather than risk putting dirty metals in your ear.

And you are rather loud. I do not think even your room walls would block much from escaping. I would feel too uneasy about performing those kinks where they could be heard.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

I'll ask for the tools and the earring for my next burden. Together we'll draw up something special, unique, and one-of-a-kind. We can even get a pair if you'd like another. But I want something. [ he's about to lift his hands up for a kiss when sunday calls him loud and he just turns red instead. ] I... I'm not loud. I, you, it... it's not just me! You too! [ inflates his cheeks with a huff. ] Mehrak got the gag and we could go to the sex shop and... invest in some things to... help. We also both have tentacle like appendages we can use... [ use yours more sunday! ]

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[regulate]

I would not mind an extra one, though it would have to be small so it does not weigh down my wings too much. And you are far louder. I am not sure the gag would be enough.

Even if we were completely quiet, I would still feel strange with someone a few feet away. What if there is an emergency, and he walks in while one of us is bound?

[ The embarrassment would kill him. ]

I also would feel strange about spending the evening since he would know even if we are quiet.

Re: day 67 late / 68 early

[noarchitact]

...well, you have something of mine already so let's focus on something of yours for me first, and then if you'd really like another piercing we'll already have the tools to take care of it. [ he didn't think about how it might affect his wings, so now he's a little hesitant. ] I, no, th- that... I am not, and I can be quiet, I just... you seem to like it when I, I'm loud. Admit it. [ bristles, trying to look annoyed but only managing to look embarrassed. ] A gag would be more than enough!

... [ that would be hot af. ] We could look into that house. I did originally think it would be a good place to [ he brings a hand to his mouth, clearing his throat. ] fuck, since we wouldn't have to worry about sisters, roommates, and neighbors...

[ he keeps a firm hold on sunday's hands. ] Of course he's going to know. Even if we're not at the house I'm sure he'll piece together what's going on elsewhere. Alhaitham's really smart. [ and it's not like it'd take a genius to figure this out. ] But I at least want the three of us to spend time together. N- Normal time. To get to know each other. I can even make dinner again. [ he'll make whatever you want, sunday. ] Just... don't go.